It's time to stop creation. All that arises within thoughts is abuse, separation and deception. Within thoughts, feelings and emotions we mess with and destruct true self value. Earth is the Test that stands before Man of Becoming Self Honesty equal and one as all Here in fact - as who we really are to Birth Self as Life in the Physical as Breath. Physics are going to play a vital role in self transformation in the physical.
maandag 27 februari 2012
HOM 82 Sex Spiritual Orgasm and Systems
09 September 2007
This is Jack.
Now – how ‘spiritual meditation’ and masturbation are feeding the consciousness existence of this world.
So, we have the religious/religion orgasm, which is within the churches, where the sperm and the egg are the human beings and the priest come together as one and the ‘child of God’ is born – and the singing and the praying in the church – there’s the orgasmic experience.
Then we have the meditation orgasmic experience that I’ve just explained, where the being connects only in meditation with the guide, which is a system that they have created themselves and which they communicate to. Knowledge and information is shared and then the ‘serenity’ and the ‘peace’ and the ‘what-not’, that’s the other orgasmic experience.
And then the masturbation, of course, when normal human beings who use their hand and masturbate to have their orgasmic experience with themselves.33
So, in all three points [you are] basically fucking with yourself – literally – and keeping this entire consciousness existence running, keeping the organism of this world of consciousness alive – through the organs, of course, that they are playing in church – interesting – singing, worshiping, praying – and [through] everything of this – of the orgasmic experiences of sex and within the churches and within the establishments – feeding this entire consciousness reality, keeping it moving, keeping it alive, because consciousness moves with energy. If energy does not exist, consciousness does not exist, it is fascinating.
And you, of course, have the meditation people and the masturbation people keeping everything stable, so that everything is able to continuously move within this consciousness existence and human beings are able to remain enslaved.
So, why hasn’t any human being actually stood up and taken on the system head-on/ straight-on?
Because: "Oh no! I am able to run to ‘God’ and ask forgiveness" and "when I do become angry because of this world, I can go and meditate and just make myself be peaceful" and "I am not going to take on the system, I’ve got me, I’ve got my meditation" - "I’ve got my masturbation" – "oh I’ve got my god" – "oh, I’ve got my spirituality" – relationships of separation – "I have to keep that relationship together! Oh, God! Please, forgive me that I have wanted to take you on, I am in relationship with you, I apologize for deceiving you, I won't take you on, no I’ve got me" – or: "Guide, I’ve got you" – or: "Meditation, I’ve got you" – or: "Masturbation, I’ve got you!" – all manifestations of separation in relationships.
And that’s why human beings have not stood up, have not taken on the system and are still very much enslaved in this entire consciousness existence keeping the governments, the money system, the religious system, the educational system – all of the huge global systems, as the organs – alive through the participation in the orgasmic experience with religion, spirituality, meditation and masturbation, keeping everything going, remaining enslaved within this system – and why is that? Because you don’t want to ‘deceive’ your ‘relationship’ with that which you are in relationship with in separation; that’s why human beings are so scared to just stand up: because they have a ‘relationship’ and they have to ‘honour’ it with themselves, in separation, in all its different facets and forms.
Have a look: spirituality, sexuality, religion – everything is the exact same principle, just different manifestations, [but the] same thing; having a relationship with an entity of sorts separate from you, with which you have an orgasmic experience – all in the search and the seeking for self, yearning for an experience of self – and look what that beautiful yearning is doing to this world, to existence – feeding through the unconscious mind. Remember: masturbation, meditation, spirituality, religion - all four facets.
And everyone is partaking in that: sex, relationships of sorts. Every being in this world is in a relationship with something or someone and within that singular point of separation, each and 34 every single one of us is equal and one in responsibility for what we have allowed in this world in this consciousness existence. So, therefore: no one is innocent. Each and every single one of us is responsible. So, therefore – no one can turn their back and say: "Ah please, I’m not, I’m god!" – or: "Oh no, I’m not – look at me!" Please, what the hell are you doing to this world to make a difference in every way whatsoever? In actually applying yourself in every moment, directing yourself every moment, directing those in your world in every moment, not accepting anything less than who anyone else is in this world? No. Child abuse, rape, violence, the entire money system – are you taking that on? Are you doing anything about that in your practical application in every single moment? Are you standing up for this entire world and existence for all as one? I have one question for you: are you able to stand in infinity in front of this world as it is now, knowing the answer to what is required to be done and to sort this out? Do you have the answer? Does anyone have the answer? Is it that maybe because you apparently don’t have the answer that you’d rather go: "Oh, no! Create a different relationship, a separate relationship with me, satisfy myself here, keep myself busy – because, oh my God! Look at this world; I can’t do anything, I can’t make a difference. So, I rather remain enslaved and feed the system, because I’m able to survive here, it ‘takes care of me’, it ‘supports me ‘in this and of this world!" You won’t give up that relationship – no! Of course not: "This relationship is supporting me. I feel safe, I am protected, I’ve got money, I’m able to survive. Leave me at that." But even in that statement, what are you supporting? This existence. And what is it that is holding you there? Fear of death. Fear of death is the one thing that’s holding all beings’ relationships together; as long as they can go to heaven or ascend to a higher plane or a higher dimensional ‘god-knows’ ‘density existence’, or whatever the hell you call it – ‘then I’m fine’. You know: "At least I know I’m protected, I’m safe, so I’ll keep that relationship going." It’s all about relationships; people searching and seeking for themselves. Look at all we’ve created here, in this world, in this existence – not realising that: "Fuck, maybe I’m here actually already!" No - everyone’s always going out there somewhere, creating separate relationship entities. Every single human being has that in some form, some manifestation, just not wanting to give up that relationship, because: "What if I’m wrong? What if I die? What if I lose everything?" Interesting fears.
This is Jack.
Thank you very much.
www.desteni.org
donderdag 23 februari 2012
2012: Debunking Eckhart Tolle's "It is the stillness that will save and transform the world."
"It is the stillness that will save and transform the world." Eckhart Tolle
Does this oneliner need many words to explain why nothing would change within stillness alone?
OK - I go sit here in stillness and the world would be "saved" and "transformed" within this stillness - in a place where all can live in joy and freedom?
Presumingly we all have the same definition of "stillness" in the first place. I know of Eckhart Tolle and his followers they do not delete thoughts, feelings and emotions through applying self forgiveness in selfhonesty, self corrective statements and living themselves as all as one as equal as hereness as breath. So - "stillness" is not real when there is still movement inside ourselves as the human mind consciousness system.
Like the monks sitting on a mountain peak meditating their ass off changed anything?
Just some questions to ask yourself.
Common sense means we do wthat is best for all of humanity as a whole, as one. Listen support by Sunette Spies - Get Real. Stay Real. Be Physical.
Tranforming the world for real then takes place through transforming / reprogramming Self as Origin into equality and oneness as Life self -- stopping the mind /system within pratically applying the Desteni tools.
And transforming the world as self will only be possible through realising a massive change of the world system to boost the removal of our survival techniques -- step 1 is www.basicincome.org to be able to implement the Equal Money system in time.
woensdag 22 februari 2012
2012: My experience with the System Design of Beauty (DIP Assignment 7)
BLOG 4
Writing about my experience with the system design of beauty.
Within my youngest experiences with beauty I heard two “teachings”:
“Het oog wil ook wat” - “The eye also wants something” from my father. And “Van een mooie tafel kun je niet eten” - “You can not eat from a beautiful table” from my mom.
Within my upbringing I was being dressed /drilled with skirts as to portray ’ femininity’ and please the eye of the father figure / public eye. Also within not understanding why I could not go outside putting other clothes on I experienced through adapting an alternative style and the remarks and perceptions thereof. What would it matter what anyone wears? Apparently a whole lot as this would entail whether one is accepted within the system or not. Interesting shit.
As a polarity design I developed the counterfact of beauty and came to wear “ugly” clothes - black and with holes and stuff. This also gave me a feeling of safety to not be attractive for most people (see picture above). This “pushing off” with my appearence personality served to suppress within me the fear of attracting men I couldn’t get rid off otherwise once they had set their mind onto me.. I wanted to be left alone and not be a sexual object.
Within this I had ‘control’ who was or was not gonna approach me after a history of unwanted sollicitations. As a’ side-effect’ I learned there is no such a thing as “without brow of persons” as I learned from Jesus.
Quite a puzzle..
So - after whole my life going back and forth within my mind within the design of beauty I can let go of makeup since the last year altogether because I am now in the process of realising myself as one and equal as life accepting myself the way I look / who I am. Not to look outside myself “how it / I is supposed to be”). I thought my face was nude (another saying while I was growing up: “een blote konten kop”) and I perceived this as ‘bad’ / not ‘ good’ enough.
Thought I’ll be working with:
I have to look a certain way.
Other components:
Emotion:
Insecurity
Word:
Nonconformity
The Thought:
Trigger point of the thought:
Looking ‘out there’.
Type of thought:
Beauty
Self-Forgiveness:
Self-Forgiveness on the thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to be here as breath as life.
Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to look within myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way.
Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to a flower manifestation in the world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the picture presentation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the clothes I wear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the makeup I wear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to wish to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that this world is merely a holographic picture based reality and we merely exist as pictures in it.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to see / realise / understand that “the eye wants also something” is a bull shit statement of the mind and thus the mind is wanting / needing something to feed from other people.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to perceive ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to revolt against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘unsafety’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘sex’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘being harassed’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘manipulation’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to accept myself - and I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to only accept myself when wearing make-up
to attract or repulse other people to my liking, because that is the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to compare myself to myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself as who I am , and because I judge myself, I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to hide myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think that I a m not pretty enough, and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want to wear make-up to be noticed.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that in wearing make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind, I actually become older much faster and much quicker.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to accept my human physical body and my skin as one with me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself defining beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participate in the thought I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the thought I have to look a certain way , because I realise myself that I only have to be here as breath as life.
Instead - I accept myself/embrace myself exactly as I am/look as and I am one with my physical body.
When and as I see myself connecting looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way for instead of realising I only have to look within myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to look within myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to a flower manifestation in the world - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to a flower manifestation in the world. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the picture presentation of myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the picture presentation of myself, because I realise I am not a picture. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the clothes I wear - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the clothes I wear. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the makeup I wear - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the makeup I wear. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wishing to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wish to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that how we exist in this world is merely a holographic picture based reality and we merely exist as pictures in it - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to exist in this world as mere a holographic picture based reality and to exist as pictures in it. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating in the statement “the eye wants also something” - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to participate in this mind statement and I do not allow and accept myself to feed from other people through my mind, because I realize this is a statement of the mind and within this the mind is feeding from other people. Instead - I direct myself facing my current reality and taking responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself perceiving ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to perceive ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself revolting against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to revolte against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘unsafety’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘unsafety’, because I realize I am not being self directive but directed by thoughts and emotions. Instead - I direct myself here as breath and accept myself/embrace myself exactly as I am/look as - as one with my physical body.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘sex’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘sex’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘being harassed’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘being harassed’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘manipulation’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘manipulation’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When an as I realise that I haven’t allowed and accept myself to accept myself - and when and as I realise myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to only accept myself when wearing make-up to attract or repulse other people to my liking, because that is the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup to be in control - I stop, I breathe -I do not accept and allow myself to only like myself when wearing makeup to be in control. Instead- I direct myself as here as breath and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that I that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to accept myself - and the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to not accept myself - and to wear makeup to accept myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself comparing myself to myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to compare myself to myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself judging myself as who I am , and because I judge myself, I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to judge myself as who I am, because I realise I judge myself, and I do not accept and allow myself that I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself hiding myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself
- I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to hide myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself thinking that I a m not pretty enough , and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to think that I a m not pretty enough , and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women , because I realise that’s not who I am. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wanting to wear make-up to be noticed - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to want to wear make-up to be noticed. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that in wearing make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind, I actually become older much faster and much quicker - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wear make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself not accepting my human physical body and my skin as one with me - I stop, I breathe - I accept my human physical body and my skin as one with me. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself separate myself from my human physical body - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to see myself separate myself from my human physical body. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life - I stop, I breathe - I see / realise / understand that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life.
Emotion:(insecurity)
Specific type / ‘shade’ of emotion:
Anticipation.
Reason for connecting thought to emotion:
Getting insecure when thinking having to ‘look’ a certain way.
Self-Forgiveness
Self-Forgiveness on emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within an emotional experience of insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as insecure.
Self-Forgiveness on type / ‘shade’ of emotion:
I forgive myself that have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within an emotional experience of anticipation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to anticipate myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity.
Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to go into an emotional experience of insecurity because I am bothering myself with the way I have to look.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience insecurity because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself connecting the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of fear, because I realise I am not defined by the way I look. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating within an emotional experience of insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within an emotional experience of insecurity, because I realise I am not being self directive but being directed by emotions. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself define myself as insecure - I stop I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to define myself as insecure, because I realise myself that defining myself is limiting myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see participate within an emotional experience of anticipation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within an emotional experience of anticipation, because I realise I am being directed by emotions and not being self directive here as breath. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself anticipating myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to anticipate myself, because I realise that who I am is here in every moment as self-attention. Instead - I direct myself and place myself here as self-attention.
When and as I see myself connecting ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity, because I realise I am not being self directive but being directed by the mind. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
2. lack of conformity or agreement.
3. ( often initial capital letter ) refusal to conform to the Church of England.
4. Geology . an unconformity that separates crystalline rocks, either igneous or metamorphic, from sedimentary rocks.
Origin:
1610–20; non- + conformity
New definition:
Nonconformity is living and expressing myself in liberty here within self honesty as all physical and non-physical forms in agreement with all that exist as myself.
Nothing is what it seems and All is in reverse.
Writing about my experience with the system design of beauty.
Within my youngest experiences with beauty I heard two “teachings”:
“Het oog wil ook wat” - “The eye also wants something” from my father. And “Van een mooie tafel kun je niet eten” - “You can not eat from a beautiful table” from my mom.
Within my upbringing I was being dressed /drilled with skirts as to portray ’ femininity’ and please the eye of the father figure / public eye. Also within not understanding why I could not go outside putting other clothes on I experienced through adapting an alternative style and the remarks and perceptions thereof. What would it matter what anyone wears? Apparently a whole lot as this would entail whether one is accepted within the system or not. Interesting shit.
As a polarity design I developed the counterfact of beauty and came to wear “ugly” clothes - black and with holes and stuff. This also gave me a feeling of safety to not be attractive for most people (see picture above). This “pushing off” with my appearence personality served to suppress within me the fear of attracting men I couldn’t get rid off otherwise once they had set their mind onto me.. I wanted to be left alone and not be a sexual object.
Within this I had ‘control’ who was or was not gonna approach me after a history of unwanted sollicitations. As a’ side-effect’ I learned there is no such a thing as “without brow of persons” as I learned from Jesus.
Quite a puzzle..
So - after whole my life going back and forth within my mind within the design of beauty I can let go of makeup since the last year altogether because I am now in the process of realising myself as one and equal as life accepting myself the way I look / who I am. Not to look outside myself “how it / I is supposed to be”). I thought my face was nude (another saying while I was growing up: “een blote konten kop”) and I perceived this as ‘bad’ / not ‘ good’ enough.
Thought I’ll be working with:
I have to look a certain way.
Other components:
Emotion:
Insecurity
Word:
Nonconformity
The Thought:
Trigger point of the thought:
Looking ‘out there’.
Type of thought:
Beauty
Self-Forgiveness:
Self-Forgiveness on the thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to be here as breath as life.
Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to look within myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way.
Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to a flower manifestation in the world.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the picture presentation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the clothes I wear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty to the makeup I wear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to wish to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that this world is merely a holographic picture based reality and we merely exist as pictures in it.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to see / realise / understand that “the eye wants also something” is a bull shit statement of the mind and thus the mind is wanting / needing something to feed from other people.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to perceive ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to revolt against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘unsafety’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘sex’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘being harassed’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect beauty to ‘manipulation’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to accept myself - and I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to only accept myself when wearing make-up
to attract or repulse other people to my liking, because that is the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to compare myself to myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself as who I am , and because I judge myself, I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to hide myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think that I a m not pretty enough, and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want to wear make-up to be noticed.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that in wearing make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind, I actually become older much faster and much quicker.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to accept my human physical body and my skin as one with me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself defining beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to an opposite manifestation in the world of ‘blackness’ and ‘uglyness’ and black metal guys and girls. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participate in the thought I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to participate in the thought I have to look a certain way , because I realise myself that I only have to be here as breath as life.
Instead - I accept myself/embrace myself exactly as I am/look as and I am one with my physical body.
When and as I see myself connecting looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way for instead of realising I only have to look within myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect looking ‘out there’ to the thought I have to look a certain way instead of realising I only have to look within myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself looking ‘out there ‘ exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to look a certain way. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to a flower manifestation in the world - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to a flower manifestation in the world. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the picture presentation of myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the picture presentation of myself, because I realise I am not a picture. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the clothes I wear - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the clothes I wear. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty to the makeup I wear - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty to the makeup I wear. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to define beauty according to the picture of me when I stand in front of the mirror. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wishing to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wish to be beautiful as the models in magazines and on the ‘tele’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to perceive that I am not good enough without makeup. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that how we exist in this world is merely a holographic picture based reality and we merely exist as pictures in it - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to exist in this world as mere a holographic picture based reality and to exist as pictures in it. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating in the statement “the eye wants also something” - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to participate in this mind statement and I do not allow and accept myself to feed from other people through my mind, because I realize this is a statement of the mind and within this the mind is feeding from other people. Instead - I direct myself facing my current reality and taking responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself perceiving ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to perceive ‘femininity’ as beautiful instead of realising it is limiting me within the polarity equation of male-female. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself revolting against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to revolte against ‘ attractiveness’ with repulsiveness because I fear sex and sexuality. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘unsafety’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘unsafety’, because I realize I am not being self directive but directed by thoughts and emotions. Instead - I direct myself here as breath and accept myself/embrace myself exactly as I am/look as - as one with my physical body.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘sex’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘sex’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘being harassed’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘being harassed’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting beauty to ‘manipulation’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to connect beauty to ‘manipulation’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When an as I realise that I haven’t allowed and accept myself to accept myself - and when and as I realise myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to only accept myself when wearing make-up to attract or repulse other people to my liking, because that is the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup to be in control - I stop, I breathe -I do not accept and allow myself to only like myself when wearing makeup to be in control. Instead- I direct myself as here as breath and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that I that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to accept myself - and the only way I accept myself is if I wear makeup - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to not accept myself - and to wear makeup to accept myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself comparing myself to myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to compare myself to myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself judging myself as who I am , and because I judge myself, I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to judge myself as who I am, because I realise I judge myself, and I do not accept and allow myself that I would rather wear makeup to hide the judgement of me that exists within me. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself hiding myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself
- I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to hide myself by wearing makeup because I do not accept myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself thinking that I a m not pretty enough , and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to think that I a m not pretty enough , and that I am not beautiful enough, and that I am required to wear makeup to’ fit in’ with society and all the other women , because I realise that’s not who I am. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to believe that I look so ghastly, and so ugly, and so not acceptable, that I have to wear make-up to be acceptable. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wanting to wear make-up to be noticed - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to want to wear make-up to be noticed. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wear make-up as an ‘antenna’ for me to say, “I am here. I am here. I am here. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that in wearing make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind, I actually become older much faster and much quicker - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to wear make-up for reasons and purposes separate from me, that is of the mind. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself not accepting my human physical body and my skin as one with me - I stop, I breathe - I accept my human physical body and my skin as one with me. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself separate myself from my human physical body - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to see myself separate myself from my human physical body. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life - I stop, I breathe - I see / realise / understand that my human physical body might actually be showing me something if there are pimples and wrinkles and things all over my skin – and that I’m actually able to ‘correct’ this through self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment, so that my human physical body as me may express me as who I am within and as oneness and equality of life.
Emotion:(insecurity)
Specific type / ‘shade’ of emotion:
Anticipation.
Reason for connecting thought to emotion:
I realise that I am ‘stuck’ within my current experience and that is no other solution to solve what is bothering me as here specifying my Self-Forgiveness.
Getting insecure when thinking having to ‘look’ a certain way.
Self-Forgiveness
Self-Forgiveness on emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within an emotional experience of insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as insecure.
Self-Forgiveness on type / ‘shade’ of emotion:
I forgive myself that have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within an emotional experience of anticipation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to anticipate myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity.
Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be ‘stuck’ within my current experience.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to go into an emotional experience of insecurity because I am bothering myself with the way I have to look.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience insecurity because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself connecting the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of fear, because I realise I am not defined by the way I look. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating within an emotional experience of insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within an emotional experience of insecurity, because I realise I am not being self directive but being directed by emotions. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself define myself as insecure - I stop I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to define myself as insecure, because I realise myself that defining myself is limiting myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to look a certain way to an emotional experience of anticipation. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see participate within an emotional experience of anticipation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within an emotional experience of anticipation, because I realise I am being directed by emotions and not being self directive here as breath. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself anticipating myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to anticipate myself, because I realise that who I am is here in every moment as self-attention. Instead - I direct myself and place myself here as self-attention.
When and as I see myself connecting ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect ‘anticipation ‘ to insecurity, because I realise I am not being self directive but being directed by the mind. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself being ‘stuck’ within my current experience - I stop, breathe - do not allow and accept myself to be ’stuck’ within my current experience. Instead - I direct myself here as who I am as life accepting nothing less of and as me here as all as one as equal.
When and as I see myself reacting in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe -I do not allow and accept myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way, because I realise it’s just am emotion and not who I am as life. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself reacting in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way, because I realise this a preprogrammed design and not who I am as life. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of insecurity because I am bothering myself with the way I think have to look - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to go into an emotional experience of insecurity because I realise that I am bothering myself with the way I think I have to look. Instead - I direct myself here within equality and oneness of life.
When and as I see myself experiencing insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me.
Redefining word:
When and as I see myself reacting in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe -I do not allow and accept myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way, because I realise it’s just am emotion and not who I am as life. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself reacting in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to react in insecurity when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to look a certain way, because I realise this a preprogrammed design and not who I am as life. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of insecurity because I am bothering myself with the way I think have to look - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to go into an emotional experience of insecurity because I realise that I am bothering myself with the way I think I have to look. Instead - I direct myself here within equality and oneness of life.
When and as I see myself experiencing insecurity - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow myself to because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me.
Redefining word:
Non·con·form·i·ty noun
1. failure or refusal to conform, as with established customs, attitudes, or ideas.2. lack of conformity or agreement.
3. ( often initial capital letter ) refusal to conform to the Church of England.
4. Geology . an unconformity that separates crystalline rocks, either igneous or metamorphic, from sedimentary rocks.
Origin:
1610–20; non- + conformity
New definition:
Nonconformity is living and expressing myself in liberty here within self honesty as all physical and non-physical forms in agreement with all that exist as myself.
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