Relationships are of the mind. An agreement is physical seen in actions and living and interaction, walking responsibility, discipline, assistance and support that is Visible.
Writingabout my experience with system design of love.
OK - another thing I want to write out here is the relation I had with my father and mother in regards to love.
First of all I’d like to state that when I was a child expression I saw them and referred to them as people that were also here and taking care of me because I was in the function of the child.
I did not easily take the word love in my mouth because I did not understand what it is and I prefer not to use / speak words I don’t understand the significance of.
Within the first fourteen years of this life I experienced two types of love: one being from my father in the form of him placing his attention on me (“giving attention as giving love”) within sharing his knowledge and information and his teaching me to read and write- way before I entered the educational system as preschool. He expressed his love through cuddling words and actions as physically touching me - a lot. (Be noted that he had eleven brothers to one sister - therefore it was logic to me that he was in a complete “awe” towards females to the extent of continiously being sexually aroused due to the suppression of and as sex: a catholic / religious side effect by suppressing / separating ourselves from it comes out distorted ). He did me a favour cause I love playing with words - this also rendering me (ego) more of his attention which in itself became a cycle of not really speaking with each other and continuing ‘feelings of love’. Real love is equality and I was not equal and one as a my dad.
The other - mother - I experienced somehow different: she expressed her love by doing everything for us without expressing in it words like “I love you” and without complaint - hearable complaint mean - cause I now am sure that complaining would not have helped her as she as we all are caught up in this system of survival. That’s why I now am complaining / being angry for allowing and accepting this system of inequality (Dutch: pikken). She started talking to me about leaving him though in my early teens. By the way me being a careless child was soon history / gone as I went into mediating between the two - meaning I accustomed myself listening to their stories as a means of reason / right for existence and I never was able to express my struggles. I realise we all suffered in silence - one of the first articles I came to read within the dutch Desteni material. Dad did not make a secret of his suffering, but making his children ‘responsible’ - I guess my mom did as I did. Therefore
love in this world is not yet lived as equality.
Then there came ‘Jesus‘ in my life when I was about 5 - a breath of fresh air . The reason I did not mind going to church till my 18th was because of the words and manner he solved problems / conflicts between human beings - wow man ( woman). I fell subconsciously in ‘love‘ with him and searched forever to find a man like that instead of realising I as man have to stand within myself and practice the words . From him I got the notion of the living words to love your neighbour as yourself which to me seemed real love as the most workeable love - and actually is ! I studied a lot within myself on this one that every time I was untrue to myself I had to correct that. Again within the Desteni material this is now assured mathematically as anything can be. Love is to do what’s best for all at all times.
OK - there I was divided by the mind at the kitchen table - between ’love’ dad picking on mom and mom picking on dad - I had to firmly stay here within my human physical body through feeling my body awareness - unaware I was capturing these moments within my human physical body as fear as self interest. I did not stand up and state: till here and no further! It kept me awake at night for along time - existing in this sadness, crying out secretly beneath my pillow. That was obviously not love - that’s viciousness / spite / projecting self hate in which it was and is so attempting to go along with one of the two and then had to switch of course cause after all you can’t bite the hand that feed you They could not see themselves within each other as equals - see I to I because of the survival system this world system is. Another thing that showed how sheer this love was, was the times that all of sudden we got severe punishments and getting locked up inherently to ‘fathers thoughts / feelings / emotions’ projected on the children in the form of these lockups/ beatings. So - what we learn to ‘show back’ is not love it’s obedience and submission out of fear of loss / self interest and is therefore not being true to myself / self dishonesty instead of equal and one as all here as breath.
I did not believe so much in love as relationships. For a long time I have looking for the definition of love and I found it at Desteni: love is equality.
It is a fucking believe I have to ‘give love’! Who I am is here as love as breath as life.
Deconstructing “giving attention equals giving love” from my father matrix - that would be cool because I experience inadequacies (inequalities) on the right side of my body, especially problems my right leg like “feeling unequal”: paralysis signs. So - I have to remove those paralysing mind systems from my right side body.
Commonsense
I am one and equal as all life. I am one and equal with/as words. I am one and equal with/as the word LOVE.
Thought I’ll be working with:
I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
Other components:
Emotions:
contempt
Words:
interference
Thought:
Trigger point of the thought:
When I am in need attention.
Type of thought:
love system
Self-Forgiveness on the thought:
I forgive myself hat I have allowed and accepted myself the thought I have to show/ give’ love’ in the form of knowledge and information instead of realising that who I am is equal and one as love here and what I have to do is breath.
Self-Forgiveness on the trigger point of the thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect when I am in need of attention to the thought I have to show / give him’ love’ in the form of knowledge and information instead of realising that I give / show real love through living my words and actions.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself when I am in need of attention to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to give / show ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information .
Self-Forgiveness on the type of thought:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within love.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to utter the word love.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to speak system language by daring to utter the word ‘love’.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe in the illusion that love really, actually exists.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to deceive myself in believing that love exists.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that I stand alone, as all as one.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define ’ love’ as giving / sharing knowledge and information.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I realise myself the thought I have to show/ give’ love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself the thought I hae to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information, because I realise that who I am is equal and one as love here and what I have to do is breath. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting when I am in need of attention to the thought I have to show / give him’ love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop ,I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect when I am in need of attention to the thought I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form o knowledge and information, because I realise that I give / show real love through living my words and actions. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself when I am in need of attention to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have to give / show ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself when I am in need of attention to exist as a trigger point within me, which triggers the thought that I have t give / show ‘love’ in the from of knowledge and information, because I realise knowledge and information is not who we really are. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participate within love - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within love, because I realise love is who we are as life. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself utter the word love - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to utter the word love, because I realise it is the word most abused in the world. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself speaking system language by daring to utter the word ‘love’ - I stop, I breathe - I do not accept and allow to speak system language by daring to utter the word ‘love’. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself believing in the illusion that love really, actually exists - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to believe in the illusion that love really, actually exists. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself deceiving myself in believing that love exists - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to deceive myself in believing that love exists, because when it would have the world would not be in the state it is in. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I realise myself that I stand alone, as all as one - I stop, I breathe - and I accept myself that I stand alone, as all as one.
When and as I see myself defining ’ love’ as giving / sharing knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to define ’ love’ as giving / sharing knowledge and information, because I realise the physical do not need knowledge and information. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
The emotion:
Specific shade / ‘type’ of emotion:
Irritation
Reason for connecting thought to emotion:
Becoming irritated when I think I have to give / show ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
Self-Forgiveness:
Self-Forgiveness on emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of contempt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself to contempt as what I am .
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate in contempt towards H. when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react with contempt towards H. when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to exert contempt to another as me instead of realising that this contempt within me - has been manifested through participation within thoughts when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted contempt within me when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted contempt within another and thus validated the existence of contempt within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to see / realise / understand that our human mind consciousness system is the incarnate self-contempt through which we contempt all and everything.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see / realise / understand that within allowing and accepting contempt in another I am actually allowing and accepting contempt within myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to into an emotional experience of contempt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to go into an emotional experience of contempt when I see another go into an emotional experience of contempt.
Self-Forgiveness on type / ‘shade’ of emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of irritation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to participate within an emotional experience of irritation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to irritate myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to connect ‘irritation’ to contempt - and thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to contempt my own contempt.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated with my partner for
not picking up the work in the house at hand as love as who he is - therefore I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be irritated with myself for not picking up the work in the house at hand as love as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have become irritated with myself for not been able to move through these points much earlier instead abusing myself to perpetuate participating within the emotion of irritation - thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to judge myself for not being able to let go of this irritation much earlier.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have become irritated with my partner a myself for not being able to work together without emotions.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to have become irritation through being irritated with myself within holding contempt for another as me.
Self-Forgiveness on connecting thought with emotion:
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be ‘stuck ‘within my current experience.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to react in contempt when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to go into an emotional experience of contempt because I am irritated within bothering myself with my partner thinking I have to give / show him ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience contempt because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me.
Self-Corrective Statements:
When and as I see myself connecting the thought I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of contempt - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to show / give ‘love ‘in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of contempt. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself defining myself to contempt as what I am - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to define myself contempt as what I am, because I realise that who I really am is here as breath. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating in contempt towards H. when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate in contempt towards H. when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge an information, because I realise that who we really are is not knowledge and information. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself reacting with contempt towards H. when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to react with contempt towards H. when I think I have t show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information, because I realise that I am actually contempting myself within knowledge and information. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself exerting contempt to another as me and when and as I realise that this contempt within me has been manifested through participation within thoughts - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to exert contempt to another as me, because I realise that this contempt within me has been manifested through participation within thoughts. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see contempt within me when I think I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept contempt within me when I think I have to show / give ‘love ‘in the form of knowledge and information, because I realise that it is not who we are. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see contempt within another and thus validate the existence of contempt within me - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept contempt within another and thus validate the existence of contempt within me, because I see / realise / understand that within allowing and accepting contempt in another I am actually allowing and accepting contempt within myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of contempt - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to go into an emotional experience of contempt, because I realise that I am not being self directive, but being directed by thought and emotion. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of contempt when I see another going into an emotional experience of contempt - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to go into an emotional experience of contempt when I see another as me going into an emotional experience of contempt., because I realise that I am contaminating myself.
Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of irritation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information to an emotional experience of irritation. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself participating within an emotional experience of irritation - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to participate within an emotional experience of irritation, because I realise that I am not being self directive as me, but I am being directed within emotions. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself irritate myself - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to irritate myself, because I realise it is not supporting me here. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself connecting ‘irritation’ to contempt - and thus when and as I myself contempting my own contempt - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to connect ‘irritation’ to contempt and thus contempting my own contempt. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself being irritated with my partner for not picking up the work in the house at hand as love as who he is - therefore being irritated with myself for not picking up the work in the house at hand as love as who I am - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to be irritated with my partner for not picking up the work in the house at hand as love as who he is, because I realise that I am being irritated with mysl for not picking up the work at hand as love as who I am. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself become irritated with myself for not been able to move through these points much earlier instead abusing myself to perpetuate participating within the emotion of irritation - thus when and as I see myself judging myself for not being able to let go of this irritation much earlier - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to become irritated with myself for not been able to move through these points much earlier, because I realise I am abusing myself perpetuating participating within judging myself. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself be or become irritated with my partner as myself for not being able to work together without emotions - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to be or become irritated with my partner for not being able to work together without emotions, because I realise that I have to work together with myself here as breath. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself have become irritation through being irritated with myself within holding contempt for another as me - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to become irritation through being irritated with myself within holding contempt of another as me, because I realise I am not being self directive , but directed by emotions. Instead - I direct myself, I am the directive force Here.
When and as I see myself being ‘stuck‘ within my current experience - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to be ‘stuck ‘ within my current experience. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself reacting in contempt when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to react in contempt when I am being confronted with the thought that I have to show / give ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information , because I realise that’s not who we really are. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of contempt because I am irritated within bothering myself with my partner thinking I have to give / show him ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to go into an emotional experience of contempt because I am irritated within bothering myself with my partner thinking I have to give / show him ‘love’ in the form of knowledge and information. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
When and as I see myself experiencing contempt - I stop, I breathe - I do not allow and accept myself to experience contempt, because I realise that there is no quick solution that will make everything better and will solve everything that is bothering me. Instead - I face my current reality and take responsibility for whatever it is that is bothering me.
Redefining word: interference
In·ter·fer·ence
noun1. an act, fact, or instance of interfering.
2. something that interferes.
3. Physics . the process in which two or more light, sound, or electromagnetic waves of the same frequency combine to reinforce or cancel each other, the amplitude of the resulting wave being equal to the sum of the amplitudes of the combining waves.
4. Radio . a. a jumbling of radio signals, caused by the reception of undesired ones.
b. the signals or device producing the incoherence.
5. Football . a. the act of a teammate or of teammates running ahead of a ball-carrier and blocking prospective tacklers out of the way: to run interference for the halfback.
b. such a teammate or such teammates collectively: to follow one's interference.
c. the act of illegally hindering an opponent from catching a forward pass or a kick.
6. Aeronautics . the situation that arises when the aerodynamic influence of one surface of an aircraft conflicts with the influence of another surface.
7. Linguistics . a. (in bilingualism and foreign-language learning) the overlapping of two languages.
b. deviation from the norm of either language in such a situation.
8. the distorting or inhibiting effect of previously learned behavior on subsequent learning.
9. Psychology . the forgetting of information or an event due to inability to reconcile it with conflicting information obtained subsequently.
Idiom
10. run interference, Informal . to deal with troublesome or time-consuming matters, as for a colleague or supervisor, especially to forestall problems.
Origin:
1775–85; interfere + -ence
New definition:
Interference is the act wherein I intervene someone or something as myself withing staying here as breath and wherein I direct myself doing what’s best for all.
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